Why do some people have beautiful homes while I am sleeping on the floor in a single room with my whole family. It just did not make sense to me.

Why would some homes have plenty to eat while I was stuck with nothing to eat on some days and at one point we were stuck with a diet of only Sweet potato for a whole year because that was the Free food that prisoners from the local prison planted and delivered in one of the homes that I lived in.

This really did not make sense to me. Why would God create the world like that? Why was he so cruel to us and kind to other people?

Then I had the moment that really hit me.

In 2004 at 18 years of age I was watching a documentary about Bob Marley in one of the most beautiful homes I had lived in (It was repossessed and we were kicked out 2 years later)

In the documentary Bob Marley is asked a question by an interviewer. “You are living in London now and touring the world, Do you still consider Jamaica your home?

Bob Marley paused. Then he gave the answer that would change my life.

He said in a thick Jamaican accent :

“My Home is always where I am, my home is inna my head. My home is what I think about and what I set my mind into thinking. That is my home. My home is not a material house out there somewhere. My home is Inna my head” - Bob Marley

That really blew my mind. The fact that I am free to create the home that I want in my head, just with the thoughts and feelings that I entertain.

Is it really true that I can be living in poverty but my mind can be rich? I decided to try it.

I fed my mind beautiful thoughts, I read about beautiful things, I listened to beautiful music, I was creating a beautiful home inside my head.

For a while it did not matter that sometimes I did not eat, it did not matter that other people had better things than me. I really did not care anymore. I had such a beautiful life in my mind that it didn’t matter that I was sleeping on the floor.

If you can keep your vision and dream despite the world showing you flames you become truly powerful.

You become like Nelson Mandela who kept his vision of a free South Africa even after 27 years in prison.

Like Steve Biko who kept his vision of Black consciousness even though the system battered and bruised him to death.

I kept my beautiful home even though the world showed me otherwise.

And finally as I write this. I live in this beautiful house with wooden floors and high Ceilings, but all of that doesn’t matter to me. I am grateful for it but humble enough to know I will change houses for many years to come in the future.

It does not matter where life takes me, I will always live in a beautiful home because “My home is always where I am, My home is inna my head”

But somewhere between the trees, hidden in the middle of nowhere, were Three swings hanging from an old tree.

And for a few minutes, we disappeared from time.

We laughed like children who had never heard of rent, grief, failure, or survival.

The forest gave us back something adulthood stole quietly.

I don’t know how to explain the feeling.

It wasn’t happiness in the loud sense.

It was deeper than that.

For a moment, the world stopped asking me to be productive. It simply allowed me to play.

I wish I could describe the feeling properly. But some moments are too beautiful for words.

We swung so high it felt like we were touching childhood versions of ourselves. And for a brief moment, life became magical again.

For a few minutes, time forgot about us. I haven’t felt that kind of happiness in years.

Somewhere in a dark forest, two grown adults became kids again.

I was out on a hike in Makhanda this Sunday afternoon, just walking, breathing, existing.
And then, it landed. Right there on the ground in front of me.
Still. Alert. Beautiful in a way that makes you pause without thinking.

For a moment, it felt like time slowed down. It stood there watching me and I stood there watching it. No rush. No noise. Just presence.

Then instinct kicked in. I reached for my phone. Slowly. Carefully. Trying not to break the moment.
But when I looked at the screen, it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t see it the way I just had. I zoomed in. Adjusted. Tried again. This picture was the best picture I could take. (Here is a picture of a hoopoe from the internet)

And that’s when it hit me.
This is what we do now. We don’t experience the world through our eyes anymore. We experience it through screens.

When something beautiful happens, instead of being in it, we try to capture it.
And somewhere in that process the picture becomes replaces the present moment.

Birds are the perfect example. They don’t wait for you. They don’t pose. They don’t care about your angle or your lighting. They are fast. Alive. Unpredictable. You can either watch them or try to capture them. Most people choose the picture.

Lately, I’ve been filming the sunrise every morning. I’ll watch it first just for a few minutes and then I’ll take out my phone to record it.

But sometimes it’s so beautiful… so overwhelming, that I forget. I forget to film. I forget to capture. And just like that, it’s gone.
At first, it feels like I’ve missed it. Like I lost something. But then I remember. I didn’t miss it. I was there.
I saw it.
I felt it.
I heard the birds singing around it.

I captured it with the only device that actually matters.
My eyes. My body. My ears. My heart.

You can replay a video. You can scroll through a photo. But you cannot relive a moment through a screen.

The present doesn’t live there. It lives here. In the now. In this moment.

The most important moment, is not the one saved on your phone.

It’s the one you were fully inside of.
The one you didn’t try to hold onto.
The one you simply lived.

Then how do you feel? You feel like you can conquer the world, you feel like you’re ready to run that Marathon. You feel like nothing can stop you now. you’re on top of the world.

That feeling right there is Motivation.

If you notice carefully When did the motivation come?

Here is the truth that nobody will tell you. Motivation does not come before it comes after!

Now what do most people do? most people want motivation to get started. They set a goal to go to gym in the morning. When that alarm rings in the morning and the blankets feel so soft and warm. They will look for motivation to get up and go. You will watch videos, How to do a perfect Bulgarian split squat thinking that will motivate you. You watch your favorite gym bunny and think that he/she will motivate you.

You have got it all wrong my friend. You will stay in bed waiting for a feeling that will only come after you go to the gym

Action does not come from motivation. Motivation comes from Action.

So you end up never starting anything, you gym for two weeks and stop, you end up not starting that business, you end up frustrated, sad and angry at yourself.
You feel like life is just passing you by. you watch people achieving their dreams while yours have not even started.

The reason you’re stuck is not because you are lazy, But because you are waiting for something that doesn’t exist.

Now here is a new rule I want you to live by:
Motivation is not the starting line.
It is the reward.
It shows up AFTER you move.

This Year I plan on running 40 Parkruns for my 40th birthday. I am on number 29 but this Saturday I did not feel like getting up to going to run but I got up and went anyway.

You don’t feel like running before the run.
You feel like running after the run.

Today you need to stop waiting, you need to get started.
Start small, start even though you don’t feel ready, Because the fire that you are waiting for will only burn after you get started.

Don’t chase motivation, Chase action!

I’ve Spoken to them 2 years in a row now.

Here is why i am writing this?

In 2007 i dropped out of University. Ever since then i have felt i did not belong in any Academic environment.

“A University Dropout can never amount to anything”. I grew up with that mentality.

I felt shame, i felt like i let my family down and I let myself down. It led me down a path to the worst depression of my life. I became an Alcoholic!

And then one day i stumbled across one of the greatest speeches i have ever heard.

A speech by Les Brown “It’s not Over until I win”. If you have never heard that speech i recommend that you go and watch it.

After Hearing that i speech i decided to work on myself. I decided that my life is not over. I decided to quit alcohol and get help for my depression. I truly decided that It’s not over Until I Win.

When speaking to these Students I realized that the Hardest Tests in my life are becoming my biggest Testimonies.

Now not only do I now work at a University Campus but I get to inspire young people who have achieved way more that i have achieved Academically.

So when life has you down, You’re going through hell, Struggling to pay your bills, Going through depression, nobody believes in you.

Remember that your hardest tests can become your biggest Testimony.

IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL YOU WIN!

This week I had the privilege of attending Rotary District 9370 Presidents and Officials Elect Training (P.O.E.TS) in Port Alfred as a newly inducted member of the Rotary club of Grahamstown.

There was a running joke that people are reluctant to join Rotary because they think it’s a club for “old white men”.

Let me tell you a something about the training this week. I met the incoming District Governor, She was a woman, an amazing and inspiring woman.

I met the District commitee who are a lovely mix of youth, experience, gender, and race.

I met the president of the Zimbali Rotary Club. A young black Man.

I met the incoming president of a rotary club. A young and ambitious African lady.

I myself was there as a young african man with a fellow rotarian who is even younger than me.

The Lesson for me was obvious. Rotary is not about Young or old, Black or White, Rich or Poor. It is just a diverse group of people who are passionate about putting service above self.

Rotary International is doing amazing work in our communities and schools.

But we have to overcome one big hurdle.

The biggest hurdle for us young and diverse people is actually taking the baton from the traditional “Old White Men” who have carried the reputation of this wonderful organisation on their shoulders for the longest time.

When my Sponsor nominated me to be a member of the club she sent this simple message.

“Hey Malwande, I would like to invite you to be a Member of our club. Our club and Grahamstown would benefit from having you as a Rotarian.”

Imagine that. How much would your community benefit if you decided to do give something to it? Instead of trying to get something from it.

How much would the world change if we decided to give to it instead of taking from it?

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Lets take it back a little bit. Its 2000, Grade 8, I am in a new school. I am young and all i want to do is fit in. I want to be seen, and i want to be cool.

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But instead I am made fun of for my appearance. I am called names. Names that I am still embarrassed to mention in this newsletter.

2003

Then in 2003 Everything snapped! I am in Grade 11. I start to become the bully. I decided that I am gonna fit in whether they like it or not. I started getting into trouble. I bullied learners, I bullied teachers, I bullied everyone. I was always in the principals office (Mr Boonzaier, May His soul rest In peace)

Then one day I was in a fight with a fellow learner. He was on top. I was losing. Everyone was watching. I decided to make the decision that would change my life forever.

I used to carry a knife to school for fun. But that day I used it. I stabbed my friend several times.

He got off me and was taken to hospital. He had multiple stitches but he was fine. But I was not.

I failed that year and was expelled from the school.

What i did not realise back then was that that decision would cost me 23 years of my life!

For a long time, I told myself I had moved on.

I built a life. I became a father. I spoke on stages. I coached people. I motivated. I inspired. I helped others find clarity and direction. On the outside, it looked like healing.

2026

But this year, something uncomfortable surfaced. I realised I wasn’t doing all this work just to inspire people.

I was trying to show up for him.

The younger version of me.

The boy who felt small. The boy who felt humiliated. The boy who made the worst decision of his life at 17 years.

I was trying to show up for myself just before that knife left my hand.

That’s when it hit me:

I never healed from that moment. I just built a life around it.

Every speech. Every act of service. Every “Today was a great day”

It wasn’t driven by confidence. It was driven by unfinished pain.

Here’s the truth we don’t talk about enough: One decision, made in emotional pain, can steal decades from you.

Not because you’re evil. But because hurt people don’t think clearly, they react.

Bullying doesn’t just hurt feelings. It hijacks identity. It pushes people into corners where survival feels like violence.

And the worst part?

The person you hurt in that moment might heal faster than you do.

You’re the one who lives with it.

You’re the one replaying it.

You’re the one still trying to prove you’re not that person anymore.

This February, we are running an anti-bullying campaign in schools around Makhanda.

On paper, it looks like community work. Awareness. Leadership. Prevention. But for me, it’s something deeper.

It’s a chance to sit in rooms with young people who feel unseen.

A chance to speak to the boy who feels mocked every day.

A chance to interrupt A moment before it becomes a life changing mistake.

This is my healing.

This is me finally walking back into 2003, not with anger, not with shame but with understanding and accountability.

If I can help one child pause.

If I can help one learner choose differently.

If I can help one person realise, “This decision will cost me more than I think”

Then maybe that 23-year wound will start to heal.

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And no matter how hard you try, nothing is going to change in 2026. You know why? Because you are very comfortable. But you say, “How can I be comfortable if I am unemployed?”

It’s simple. It’s the same reason why you use the same spoon to eat, even though you have plenty of others. It’s why you sit in the same spot on the couch even though you can sit anywhere. It’s why you use the same coffee mug even though your cupboard is full.

It’s Comfortable. It’s what you’re used to!

I know it sounds crazy, but that’s just the world works. If you want to change how the world works, then you must create your own planet.

In this world, your mind is designed to seek comfort. If something is familiar, then it is safe.

Your mind will avoid anything that feels uncomfortable, even if that thing is the thing that you really want.

I know a young lady who has been unemployed for almost 10 years. She has a degree, and she is qualified. She tried to look for a job for a few years she didn’t find a job, and she became comfortable staying at home for a while.

Now that comfort is her worst enemy. She is depressed, she is lonely, and she is watching the world pass her by. And the saddest part about this is that she is fighting a losing battle. Every time she tries to escape, her comfort zone fights back. It tells her: There are no jobs in South Africa. You need connections to get a job. You have a 10-year gap. How are you gonna explain that? She quietly applies, but she has already given up.

There is one thing you need to know about the comfort zone. It is a living entity. It has a life of its own. It was created from the need to feel safe after being disappointed. And for a while, it makes you feel good. It feels comforting. But after a while, you want to carry on with life and try to change. That’s when the comfort zone becomes your enemy.

Now it feels threatened. You see, all that the comfort zone wants to do is survive. The energy it needs to survive is the energy that created it (Disappointment, Anger, Sadness, etc.)

Whenever you try to change your life the comfort zone feels threatened. It will try and mess with you. It will get you to self-sabotage. It will tell you that you don’t need to apply today, you’ll try tomorrow. It will make you feel sick so you stay in bed. It will make you think about that time when you tried and failed. You end up not doing anything, and the comfort zone continues to survive.

Another example is when you are finally ready to break up with someone, and all of a sudden they become the sweetest person ever. That is the comfort zone. It is trying to survive by keeping you in that “safe” relationship.

Now this is powerful information because it has the power to break the cycle that’s keeping you down.

The only thing you need to know today is this: The Comfort zone is not you. It disguises itself as you. It tries to make you think that you are the one choosing to stay the same.

When you come to this realization, then you become very powerful. Once you realise that the comfort zone is just trying to keep itself alive, you can observe all the times that it tricked you. It’s so easy to see.

Ok, now what do you do with this information in 2026? You put it to the test. Test it to see if it’s true or not.

This week, use a different coffee mug, sleep on the other side of the bed, or sit on a different couch. Then wait and watch. Watch how many times your comfort zone tries to get you back to your old routine. Watch the methods it will use. Watch how it tries to make you feel.

Now, most people will not even try this experiment. Your comfort will tell you it’s silly, there’s no point.

Think about this. If your comfort zone won’t let you change the couch that you sit on, do you think it will let you change your life?

He wanted to start a business. He spoke confidently. He sounded ambitious.

So I asked him a simple question.

“Why do you want to start a business?”

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He didn’t hesitate. “I want to become a millionaire.” It was clear and direct.

Most people want more money, more freedom, more control over their lives. There’s nothing wrong with that.

So I nodded and said, “Alright. Show me.”

He paused.

I repeated myself. “Don’t tell me. Show me. Where have you written that goal down?”

There was nothing. No notebook. No document. No plan. Just a sentence he’d said out loud a hundred times.

So I said something jokingly that surprised him:

“I think you’ll be the first millionaire in history who never wrote their goals down.”

He looked… disappointed.

After a moment, he asked, “So what should I do?”

I told him the truth.

“I’m not a millionaire, so I can’t tell you how to make a million.”

“But I can tell you this: every person who achieves great things writes their goals down.”

For me writing forces clarity.

When something is written:

* It stops being vague

* It stops being optional

* It stops living only in your head

That’s the moment life shifts from hoping to deciding.

Most people never reach that moment, not because they can’t, but because they don’t know where to start.

I was also one of those people who always struggled to write my goals down.

That’s why in 2024 I created my Personal Constitution. A simple document that i could just fill in.

I didn’t write it as motivation. But as a simple structure so that writing goals became easy

I always remember that conversation with that young man.

If your goals aren’t written down, they’re just wishes you repeat to yourself.

The first serious act in anyone’s life isn’t hustling harder or waking up earlier. It’s sitting down and deciding on paper what you’re actually aiming for.

If you’ve never done that, this is your moment.

You can download my Personal Constitution below and write your goals down clearly, simply, and honestly. Its FREE! for the month of January only.

Download Pdf

This is a chance to finally show yourself that you’re serious.

Just before you reach the field there is a railway track. And a train is coming full speed!

Toot! Toot! The train tries to warn you. But a few sheep have already crossed the track. So the other sheep keep pushing forward. The train gets closer and starts driving over the sheep. Killing them. But the sheep keep pushing forward towards the train thats killing them because they can see the few that have already crossed.

You start to panic. The sheep are pushing you forward. You are getting closer to the train that is grinding and killing sheep every second.

You decide to turn around but there is no hope. Everyone is pushing you towards the train.

You have to make a decision right now.

Then suddenly you have a moment of clarity!

It is 2026, and you are not a sheep! You can decide to turn around no matter how hard its going to be. You have to get out of the crowd or else you are going to die just like the rest of them.

You decide to push back! You decide to push against your friends, you decide to push against your family, against your community. But you are failing. Theres just too many people pushing you towards the train. You can now hear the screams of the dying sheep, you can smell the bloody air. You are so close. You are at rock bottom. You can just give up now and Let death take you.

But you decide to give one last push! Your biggest push! You push with your heart and soul. You push with everything you’ve got. And Just before the train wheels catch you, You break free!

Your heart is pounding, tears are falling but you made it.

The train eventually passes and you get a chance to step into your beautiful field to graze on that Lovely and beautiful Spring morning.

My dream for you is simple. May you have the strength to keep pushing against your addiction. Be the sheep that left the flock and grazed the beautiful field of Sobriety!

Every year, January arrives full of promises. New goals. New plans. New declarations about how this year will be different.

And yet… for most people, nothing really changes.

Not because they don’t want more. Not because they don’t dream big.
But because they want a new life without becoming a new person.

The Hard Truth No One Likes to Hear

You cannot achieve new results with old thinking. You cannot live a new life with the same habits. You cannot expect a different year while staying the same person.

Every new goal requires a new version of you.

But most people don’t want to hear that. They think working harder will fix everything. They think because they have goals, the world owes them something. It doesn’t.

What I’ve Seen as a Coach

I’ve worked with people who had big dreams. They want New businesses. Better relationships. Financial freedom. Confidence. Purpose.

But many of them weren’t willing to change. They tried to outwork their old selves instead of outgrowing them.

They wanted new results while keeping:

• the same habits

• the same routines

• the same excuses

• the same thinking

It never worked.

That’s why this year, I’ve made a clear decision: I’m only working with people who are willing to change. Not people with the biggest goals, but people with the deepest commitment to becoming different.

For years, my biggest goal was simple:

“This year, I’m going to quit drinking.”

I said it every year.
And I failed every year.

Not because the goal was wrong but because I wasn’t willing to change. I wanted to quit alcohol without changing my life.

I wanted to keep: my old habits, my old routines, my old environments, my old friends

I wanted a big result without a personally changing.

Then one year, something clicked.

I realised: It’s not my goals that need to change, it’s me.

That’s when everything shifted for me. I stopped focusing only on the end goal and started working on who I was becoming.

And since then:

• I quit drinking successfully

• I became present in my kids’ lives again

• I rebuilt my self-respect

• I got my own place after years of sleeping on the floor

My life didn’t change because I tried harder. It changed because I changed.

Why Change Is the Real Shortcut

When you actually change yourself: Your decisions improve, your discipline strengthens, your confidence grows, your results follow. You stop repeating the same year over and over. You stop wasting time. You start making real progress. And suddenly, your goals don’t feel impossible anymore because you’ve become the kind of person who can achieve them.

The Excuses That Keep People Stuck

I hear them all the time: “I don’t need to change, the world needs to change.” “I already know what to do.” “I’m too old to change.” “I’ll try again next year.”

But here’s the truth:

If you don’t change, nothing changes. Another year will pass. Another version of January will come. And you’ll be having the same conversation with yourself again.

A Simple Framework That Actually Works

This isn’t complicated.

1. Set your goals clearly
   Know what you want from your life.

2. Then work on becoming the person who can achieve them
   New habits.
   New thinking.
   New standards.
   New identity.

That’s it.

Goals don’t change lives. People who change do.

This is an Invitation and is not for Everyone

If you want another year of motivation without actually changing, this isn’t for you.

But if you’re willing to:

• look honestly at yourself

• let go of what no longer serves you

• become someone new, step by step

Then I want to work with you. This year, I’m not coaching wishful thinking. I’m coaching real change. And if you’re ready to stop repeating the same year and start becoming the person your goals require. Reach out to me. Let’s do the work.

Because the year won’t change your life.
You will.

This morning, as I was walking into the studio to do my morning radio show, I realised something quite powerful.

I didn’t miss a single radio show this year.

Not one morning. Not one day. Not one moment where I decided to stay in bed, make an excuse, or tell myself I’d “make up for it tomorrow.” The whole of 2025

There were mornings I was tired. Mornings I didn’t feel inspired. Mornings where it rained, Mornings where I walked. But I still showed up anyway.

Not because I was motivated but because I was committed.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking myself how I felt and started asking a different question: What do I HAVE to do toady?

That shift changed everything.

Most people think consistency is about discipline, willpower, or being “built differently.” I am not built differently.

I think consistency is about identity. It’s about becoming the kind of person who keeps their promises to themselves especially when no one is watching.

For a long time in my life, I didn’t trust myself. I’d promise change and then disappear. I’d start strong and fade quietly. I’d tell myself tomorrow would be different and then wake up and break that promise.

Every broken promise chipped away at my confidence. Not in a dramatic way. In a slow, invisible way. Until even my own words didn’t mean much to me anymore.

Consistency has rebuilt that trust for me.

Not overnight. Not loudly. But steadily.

Showing up every morning didn’t make life easier. It made me stronger. It gave my days structure. It gave my mind something solid to stand on. Over time, I stopped needing motivation because the routine carried me when my emotions couldn’t.

And here’s the part nobody talks about: Most of consistency is boring. There were no applause moments. No breakthroughs. Just repetition. The same studio. The same time. The same responsibility. And that’s where the real work happens.

People quit not because it’s hard, but because it’s quiet.

They mistake boredom for failure. They assume that if something doesn’t feel exciting, it must not be working. But growth often feels uneventful while it’s happening. You only notice it when you look back.

This year, I didn’t become louder. I didn’t become more confident in the way people usually mean it. I became calmer. More grounded. More dependable. And that’s a form of strength we don’t celebrate enough.

Consistency taught me that self-trust isn’t built through big declarations. It’s built through small promises kept repeatedly.

If you’re struggling right now, I don’t think you need a full life overhaul. I don’t think you need new goals or a perfect plan for next year.

I think you need one non-negotiable.

One thing you do every day, whether you feel like it or not. One small commitment that becomes your anchor. Something simple enough that excuses sound silly, and important enough that skipping it feels wrong.

Show up. Again. And again.

Not for applause. Not for motivation. But to become someone YOU can rely on.

Because the version of you that you’re proud of isn’t built on breakthrough days. It’s built on ordinary ones, especially the days you didn’t feel like showing up.

And those days?
They count the most.

.

And the most honest way to honour him is not with quotes, panels, or academic debates. But by asking a difficult question:

What happens when a philosophy meant to liberate people becomes frozen in time?

Because ideas don’t die when they are wrong. They die when they stop being translated.

Many philosophies were born in fire.
They were urgent. They were Necessary. They were Alive.

But over time, something strange happens.

Scholars turn them into artefacts. They get placed behind glass. Handled only with gloves. Spoken about, but never used.

Black Consciousness is one of those ideas.

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The philosophy is still powerful. The truth is still sharp. But the language, the examples, and the applications feel far away from modern life. Ask a young person today what Black Consciousness means, and the answer you’ll often get is:

“Go read Steve Biko’s I Write What I Like.”

This response is not wrong, but it is incomplete.

Because telling people to return to a book written in 1978, without helping them apply it to 2025, is how living ideas slowly die.

There’s a dangerous belief that respecting an idea means keeping it unchanged. It doesn’t. Refusing to adapt a philosophy is a subtle form of abandonment. Steve Biko didn’t speak in timeless language. He spoke in the language of his time. Freezing his work in history is the opposite of his spirit.

Let’s talk about Hip hop. Hip hop is young. Barely 50 years old.

And yet, it has:

• Old School

• Golden Era

• Conscious Rap

• Trap

• Drill

• And whatever is happening nowadays

Every generation remixed it. Every era translated it. Every city gave it a new accent.

The core stayed. The form evolved.

Now imagine if people said: “If it doesn’t sound like 1980s Bronx hip hop, it’s not real.”

Hip hop would be dead.

Black Consciousness didn’t get remixed. It got archived.

The tragedy is this: We gained political freedom, but many of us remain mentally unfree.

Oppression didn’t disappear. It just changed shape.

Today it looks like:

• Comfort Over Consciousness (Endless Scrolling)

• Validation Dependency (likes, Views, Who Notices you)

• Fear of Standing Alone

• Economic Chains

And yet we’re still pointing people back to old texts, instead of helping them interpret these new realities.

As Biko said: “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”

That sentence didn’t expire in 1978. But it demands translation.

I grew up in the 1980s and 90s. Black pride and consciousness was alive. We had slogans like “Black is Beautiful.” There was even a hair product called “Black Like Me.”

Black Consciousness lived in the streets, the music, the language. That was the peak.

After freedom came, something faded.

In the new rainbow nation: Black pride took a back seat, There were no new slogans, No new language, No cultural translations

Today, Black Consciousness feels like something you visit, not something you live.

It feels like a museum piece.
Important.
Respected.
Untouched

If We’re Serious About Honouring Steve Biko,

We don’t need more gatekeepers. We need planters. People willing to take the seed of Black Consciousness and plant it in today’s soil.

That means:

• Preserve the core
  The timeless truth of dignity, self-definition, and mental liberation.

• Translate the language
  Speak in words people actually use today.

• Apply it to present struggles
  Show HOW Black Consciousness works in modern life, online, at work, in relationships.

• Invite ownership
  Let people remix it, question it, live it.

• Keep it moving
  Treat philosophy as a practice, not a museum piece.

Today is Steve Biko’s birthday. If he were alive, I don’t believe he’d want silence, nostalgia, or remembrance without action. He would want consciousness in action.

So here’s the call:

Don’t just quote Black Consciousness.
Practice it.

Don’t just study it.
Translate it.

Don’t just admire it.
Plant it.

In conversations. In classrooms. In music. In business. In how we see ourselves.

Because liberation doesn’t survive on respect alone. It survives on relevance.

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There’s something about December that makes everything worse.
You’re surrounded by people, but still feel alone.
You’re celebrating, but something’s missing.
You’re supposed to be happy, but you can’t escape the weight of what’s wrong.
You don’t know whether to keep going or just collapse under it all.

It’s hard to admit loneliness when everyone else seems fine, isn’t it?

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Men especially struggle with this. We’re told to keep it together. Told to push through.
But inside, it feels like you’re falling apart.
You’ve got your family, your friends, maybe even your job but somehow, you’re still alone.

Maybe it’s a bad year you’re trying to outrun.
Maybe it’s a decade’s worth of unresolved pain.
Maybe you’ve been masking it with alcohol, partying, or endless noise.

But the problem is this: You Can’t solve your problems by distracting yourself from them.

Instead of facing the truth, we drown in temporary escapes.
The more you numb it, the more it builds up. And when the holiday lights turn off, you’re left with the same emptiness.

I’ve been there.
I’ve been the guy in a group of friends who felt like the loneliest person in the room.
Surrounded by people, loud music, and smiles but feeling like I was sinking.

I felt like I was going crazy because I was drunk, but still felt so sober inside.
My mind would still keep telling me, “You’re still an absent father.” “You’re still a terrible boyfriend.” “You’re still broke, still stuck, still the same failure.”

And that’s what December really does. It forces you to face what you’ve been running from. You can’t hide behind another drink or another party. The year’s end doesn’t let you pretend anymore.

You don’t have to live like this forever.
You don’t have to keep pretending that the festive lights will fix what’s broken inside.

If you’re tired of this cycle, you have the power to change it.
It starts by admitting that loneliness is not a weakness, but a sign that you are moving in the right direction. You are trying to change.

The truth is: the best thing you can do in December is embrace the silence, face the loneliness, and finally hear what your soul is trying to tell you.

Change isn’t easy, but it’s possible.
And it begins by facing what you’ve been running from.

This is the lesson that I learned the hard way.
I had to remove myself from everything to get clarity. I had to embrace the loneliness instead of running from it.

My Method?
I used absence. I stepped away from the noise, the parties, the drinking.
I had to sit in my own silence and hear the parts of me that were broken.

I realized:

Nothing will change for me unless I change.
And that change starts with being honest about where I’m at.

The truth is, December doesn’t have to break you. But if you keep pretending it’s all okay, it will.

It’s time to stop running, stop hiding, and stop waiting for a miracle.
The best gift you can give yourself this season is honesty.

You can survive this month. But you don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re ready to face the truth, if you’re ready to finally change, Hit me up, I’ll do it with you.

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In 2019, I lost a friend who felt more like a brother.
His name was Mcuphi but I called him Scura. It has been six years now, and for a long time, I was scared of something most people don’t talk about.

I was scared of forgetting him.

Not forgetting his face or his laugh, but forgetting the weight of him in my life. That fear made me hold on to pain far longer than I needed to.

My Pain Become Proof of Love

After Scura died in a tragic car accident, I did what many of us do when grief hits too hard to explain.

I made the pain permanent. I tattooed his name on my chest (literally the only Tattoo I have on my body till today) so that no matter how old I get, I would always carry him with me.
I changed my Facebook profile picture after his funeral. I have never changed it back. It’s been six years now.

In my mind, the pain became proof that I loved him.
If I stopped hurting, I felt like I was letting him down.

Somewhere along the way, grief stopped being something I was going through…
and became something I was being.

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The Lie We Tell Ourselves About Grief

Here’s the quiet lie many of us believe: “If I move on, it means I didn’t love them enough.”

So we keep the pain alive. We replay the loss. We punish ourselves with sadness. Not because it heals us. but because it feels safe. Pain feels familiar. Pain feels loyal. Pain feels like respect. But pain was never meant to become our identity.

The Moment That Forced Me to Face My Grief

A few weeks ago, I was hiking with our group when something unthinkable happened.

I witnessed a friend losing a friend right in front of my eyes.

As I watched her experience the shock, the fear, the helplessness… I wasn’t just witnessing her grief. I was staring straight at my own.

Grief I thought I had handled, Grief I had actually just stored away.

That moment made something clear to me: I wasn’t holding on to my friend’s memory. I was holding on to the pain to avoid letting go.

Honouring Isn’t the Same as Hurting

Moving on does not mean forgetting.

It means allowing memories to become beautiful again, instead of heavy. I have so many good memories of Scura… the laughter, the growth, the brotherhood.
But for years, I didn’t let myself feel them. Pain was blocking the view.

If You’re Afraid to Let Go, Read This Slowly

If you’re grieving, you might be telling yourself things like:

• “I don’t want to forget them.”

• “People will judge me if I seem okay.”

• “I should suffer, because they suffered.”

• “What if they’d be disappointed if I move on?”

Let me say this as clearly and gently as I can:

Your loved one is not honoured by your suffering.
They are honoured by your living.

They are honoured when you laugh again. When you love again.
When you carry them forward through who you become, not through how much you hurt.

The Truth I Learned About Healing

There is no shortcut. There is no timeline.

But there is a truth that I’ve learned after six years:

• Healing takes time

• Moving on takes time

• Pain feels comfortable and safe

• But healing feels beautiful

And beauty is not betrayal.

What I’m Learning to Do Now

I’m learning to loosen my grip on the pain, not the memory. To let grief soften into gratitude. To remember my friend without punishing myself. To honour him by choosing life.

If you’re reading this while carrying your own loss, please hear this:

You are not weak for still hurting. And you are not disloyal for wanting peace.

You are allowed to remember without bleeding.

And when you’re ready, even if it takes years

you are allowed to move forward, carrying love instead of pain.

That, too, is grief.
And that, as I have learned in the past few weeks, is healing.

It is with joy in my heart and peace in my soul that I say these words to you my late friend:

“I have honoured you Scura, Mnganam,
Now it is time for me to move on … from the pain.”

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It’s the end of the year, be honest with yourself. Not about what you planned, talked about or what you meant to do. What did you actually do?

Because the truth is simple:

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The world does not clap for ideas. The world claps for what you finish.

I know people who said, “I’m starting a podcast this year.” They bought a mic, They designed a logo, They told everyone. But they recorded zero episodes.

I know people who said, “I’m starting a business.” They sold nothing.

I know people who said, “This is my year to get fit.”

They went to gym five times in twelve months. Five times..

I recently spoke to a young man I am coaching. He’s a musician. Talented, Passionate, Full of dreams. I asked him a simple question: “How many songs did you actually release this year?” He said, “Two.” Two songs in 365 days.

So I asked him something even simpler: “Do you honestly believe two songs are enough to change your life?” He looked down and said, “No.”

Here’s the hard truth:

The world does not respect intentions. It respects output. You don’t change your life with ideas. You change your life with finished things.

While you’re still fixing, planning, and polishing… Someone else is posting, selling, trying, and learning. And they’re winning, not because they’re better but because they’re moving.

I know this because I lived it. For years, I had dreams, Ideas, Plans but nothing was changing. This year something shifted.

Less thinking. More Doing. Less planning. More Finishing. Less talking. More output

Here’s the formula that changed everything for me: Do. Then improve. Messy action beats perfect delay Every single time.

If you’re tired of ending every year with excuses, Then don’t do this alone.

I coach people who are stuck in their heads and help them move into real-world action. Not hype. Not just motivation. But clear steps, accountability, and output.

This time next year can look very different. But only if you do something today.

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At first, I thought the challenge was about job titles.
Then I thought it was about purpose. But when I dug deeper, I realized something powerful:

There is a version of me that exists beyond work, purpose, money, and identity.
And that is the version I’ve been trying to run away from and run toward at the same time.

This is Layer 3.

Layer 1 was Practical

Part 1

Layer 2 was Emotional

Part 2

Layer 3 is Spiritual

Layer 3 asks the most important Question: “When all the roles fall off… who shows up?”

The question that most of us avoid because it removes our protection,

• No job title to hide behind

• No income to justify ourselves

• No “I’m busy” to distract us

• No applause to validate us

It’s just you. Raw. Unfiltered. Unmasked.

For the past few weeks, I have started to think back on my life

Not my CV.
Not my achievements.
Not my income.

My life.

And I noticed that whenever I walked into a space, from a classroom, to a hiking trail, to a coaching session, to a random chat with a stranger. Something very specific happened:

People felt hopeful around me.

Not because of what I said.
But because of who I was being.

That is my Essence. Not Speaker, Entrepreneur, Coach, Volunteer.

Hope! That is my identity beneath the titles.

People come to me for clarity. People come to me for direction. People come to me to talk about the changes they’re afraid to make. People come to me because my presence makes them feel less overwhelmed.

People trust me with their truth even when they barely know me.

That’s not a job. That’s not a career. That’s not a hustle.

That’s who I am.

The version of me that feels alive is the version of me that uplifts others.

THE LESSON OF THIS 3 PART SERIES

If the world took away every title you hold…
every job you do…
every purpose you chase…
every room you perform in…

What remains is the real you?

Your identity is not your income. Your identity is not your purpose. Your identity is not your productivity. Your identity is the energy you bring into the world consistently, naturally, effortlessly.

For me, that energy is hope.
For you, it might be something else.

But Layer 3 will show you.

So to Answer My friend John’s Question. “What do you actually do?”

My name is Malwande Bebeza and I give people hope.

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Something happened while writing that first article: I realised just how easy it is to live a busy life and still feel empty. It’s one thing to list what you do. It’s another to ask yourself:

“WHY do I do all of this?”

That question hit me harder than the original question from my Friend from Rotary.

For a lot of years in my life, I was chasing opportunities. I used to be busy. I remember when I was a chicken farmer, working at a construction company, being a part-time artist, and doing side jobs painting and grass cutting on the weekends. I was truly busy. But nothing was changing in my life.

In the end I felt like I was just surviving and not living. All I had to show for all those busy years was Anxiety, Guilt, and a feeling that I was wasting my life

Most people think purpose is this beautiful, inspirational thing. But in reality, purpose usually starts in pain. My purpose started the day I finally admitted to myself that I’d become someone I didn’t recognise.

I was a father who wasn’t present. I was man who wasn’t proud of himself. I was a dreamer who wasn’t dreaming anymore.

But once I climbed out of that darkness and started changing my life, something unexpected happened:

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I started meeting people who felt the same way I once felt. I met people who were lost. I met people who were directionless. I met people who were drowning in their own potential. And every time I spoke to them, whether on radio, in a coaching session, or on a hike, I saw a version of my old self in their eyes.

Then I quickly realised:

I don’t do this work because it’s a career. I do it because it’s a calling.

I try to lift people because I know what it feels like to stay down.

I try to give clarity because I remember what confusion felt like.

I try to inspire people because I remember begging life for one small reason to keep going.

This is when the purpose moved from my head and into my heart.

There is a big difference between: activity and impact, movement and meaning, work and purpose

I didn’t fall in love with motivational speaking because it looked cool. I didn’t start coaching because it was trendy. I didn’t start volunteering because I had extra time.

I do these things because deep inside me, there is a memory and a pain, a pain that refuses to let other people fight their battles alone.

So after weeks of reflection, here is what I discovered about my Layer 2:

I do what I do because I want to see people rise. Especially the ones who think it’s too late for them. Everything I create is for the person who feels stuck, small, or forgotten. Because I used to be that person.

This is the heartbeat behind everything I do: my speeches, my coaching, my videos, my community work, my writing, my hikes, my conversations.

I want to show people the version of themselves that they stopped believing in.

This week I want to give you a challenge: Forget your job title for a moment. Forget your income streams. Forget your skills.

I want you to ask yourself this:

If no one paid you, praised you, liked your posts, or clapped for you, What would you still do?

Next week, in Part 3, we’re going deeper — to the final layer: The Essence. Who am I being/becoming? That’s where identity becomes spiritual. Where purpose becomes presence. Where you step into the core of who you truly are.

And I will finally answer the Question: Who are you and what do you do?

But for now You need to sit with your why.

Let it speak.

Let it guide you home.

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I sat with this question for a few days and tried to research what I actually do. This seemed like a very easy question. I have been introducing myself for a long time, but when I actually sat down and thought about it, I realized I didn’t know how to answer the question, “What do you actually do?”

This newsletter is going to be a 3-part series in which I try to answer this question. I will find clarity, I will do research, and I will look deep inside myself to actually answer this simple question.

I found that there are 3 layers that I need to explore if I want a complete answer.

Layer 1. What I actually do, The practical layer.

Layer 2. The Purpose, Why I do it?

Layer 3. The Essence, Who am I being/becoming?

In this week’s newsletter, we will deal with the first layer.

What do I actually do?

When I was asked this question by a fellow Rotarian, I was a bit confused. The truth is I was embarrassed about my background.

I had failed at living the “normal” way: “Go to school, get a Degree, and find work”. I failed in High school, I dropped out of university and I am not currently formally employed. That’s the first difficulty. I am not a Doctor, Teacher, or accountant. My guess is that this is what my friend was looking for.

Secondly, What do I actually do? This question forced me to actually look at my life.

I noticed that people define themselves by their income, but some of our most meaningful work doesn’t pay.

We spend time doing certain things out of duty, and others out of love.

So which ones count as what we do?

To get to the bottom of this for myself I decided to do an exercise that truly opened my eyes. The exercise is inspired by the Japanese Practice and philosophy of IKIGAI. Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “a reason for being,” representing the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for

My adaptation is a 3 circle exercise.

The first circle I listed everything that I do. I actually did not have enough space for the all of the things that I do. I had to write down those that that I deem important to me.

The Second circle I wrote down things that bring in the money. I had to be honest with myself on this one. I had to look up what actually brings in the money.

The third circle I listed everything that I liked doing. Everything that i enjoyed doing and everything that made me feel good while doing it.

I came to a very shocking realization. It was eye opening for me.

Of all the things that I do. The ones that bring in the money are not the things that I love doing. and even more importantly the things that I love doing are not bringing in the money.

For me it is quite important to monetize the things that I love doing so that I can make a living doing things that I love. This exercise really gave me a wake up call to get started with my goal of monetizing the things that I love doing. but that is a story for another article.

On the Center of the circles where they intersect is where I wrote My Ideal profession: Motivational Speaking, and Personal coaching. Ideally these is what I should Answer when someone asks me what to I do for a living.

I Challenge you to do the exercise for yourself and find out some truths about yourself and what you do.

This week, I’m challenging you to stop answering “What do you do?” with your job title. Instead, answer with what you actually give to the world.

Sit down, draw your three circles, and meet yourself honestly.

The past two weeks have been an interesting time for me in getting to know myself. I learned a powerful Lesson: Don’t confuse your paycheck with your purpose.

The next article we will go to Layer 2 of trying to get to know “What I do for a living”

We will go deep and find out why we do the things that we do.

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He had been missing for a week. We had a close encounter with our Hiking group. We had been hiking the very same trail on the day his body was found and we missed him just by pure luck.

That really shook me to the core. Imagine taking a Sunday Morning walk and discovering a body in the woods. It would have traumatized the group.

I started to actually think as to why I started Hiking in the first place.

I always ask people who are on their first hike “Why did you decide on Hiking?” and the response I get is almost always the same: “I am Hiking because I need to clear my mind a little bit, I am going through something and I need something that will make me feel a little better”

And that was Me when I started hiking as well. But let me tell you, that is the BIGGEST mistake we make.

We make Hiking and Gym a bandage for our mental health problems.

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We make the mistake of thinking that feeling good is healing. We go on a hike, we connect with nature, we feel good, we go home with those feel-good hormones and begin to think that we are healed.

Tomorrow, when the feel-good hormones wear off, we realise that nothing in our lives has changed. We are still in the same relationship, we still have a low self esteem, we still feel anxious and are still generally depressed.

We need to come to an awareness that Healing is not being happy and smiling. Healing is rough; it’s sad. But most importantly:

Happiness is not something that can be given to you by any activity. Happiness is something that you can only get from yourself.

I don’t mean this in a motivational quote kind of way. I mean this literally in reality. Happiness comes from how you see things and not the things themselves. Two people can go through exactly the same thing and have different responses.

Good Mental health is not a result of being happy because of what is happening in your life.

Good mental health is a result of being happy despite what is happening in your life.

To put it more practically. You need to get help. Whether it’s self-help or professional help, help that will heal you internally.

You need help that will make you not need to do any activity to make yourself feel happy.

The point of this newsletter today is to make you ask yourself: “Am I doing this activity to make myself feel better?” if the answer is yes, then you are in a dangerous place. Anything that has the power to make you happy also has the power to disappoint you.

Take back your power. Make happiness an internal exercise.

I recommend the follwing book to start your journey. “Happy for no reason: 7 steps to being happy from the inside out.” by Marci Shimoff

My Sincere condolences to the young mans family, friends and classmates.

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